VITALITY. Also known as the creative force which flows through all life.
Can you feel it?
It is the energy of creation, of growth and expansion. It is deeply passionate, sensual, loving, heartfelt, joyful, and at times a tad overwhelming! So much so we often try to control it and redirect it to manifest in ways that we deem are acceptable and safe.
In other words we judge it and block it rather than letting it flow.
Why? Because it is so powerful! And we all know how uncomfortable it can be to stand in our own power—especially when we are not used to doing so!
Why? Fear. In all its forms—obvious and not so obvious—fear pulls us out of resonance with our guiding hearts, out of our wise bodies and disconnects us from the vital life force that wants to flow through us.
Modern culture conditions us from an early age that control of our life, and life itself, is possible—but only when we make the “right” i.e. socially acceptable choices, and work hard.
Cue endless judgement and productivity programming as a measure of self-worth...
This deeply held belief is what started me on my Soulflower journey in the first place! There came a time when my body physically could not continue on the path I was forcibly creating, internally and externally, and letting go (love you Dandelion!) of my illusion of control has been the foundation of my entire wholing journey...and continues to be to this very moment.
An example? In summers past the vast stretch of unstructured days with kids out of school used to unhinge me. I would be good for a few weeks, feeling relief at letting go of the school day structure and excited with the free flowing energy of summer, but then inevitably the frustration of trying to accommodate all the additional needs of the household and my work and find any time for myself eventually would lead to my unravelling.
I lost control. Literally.
Living in the present moment, flowing with whatever life would bring, would be so uncomfortable that I would try to create plans and structures and containers to alleviate the discomfort...you know, do it my way, the right way, and everything will be wonderful...like in the movies.
Inevitably, however, my web of control would break down and my kids would not "get with the program" and I would end up melting down in frustration and resentment wishing away the summer. (Remember that Staples ad with the giddy parents doing back-to-school shopping?)
Forgiveness of my former, unconscious self has also been a huge part of my journey. We don't know what we don't know. Bringing light to our shadows, our deeply held beliefs, is not for the feint of heart, but it is THE work for sure. And we can learn so much from our children (and Nature) before we try and shape them to "fit" in, to be successful, and so the cycle begins again...
I’m laughing now thinking about how I used to have a “life plan” and how doing what I’m doing now never even figured into it! Thankfully the Universe, and life, intervened—as it always does—and that most importantly I listened! Although reluctantly for sure.
Still a work in progress—that’s life, always evolving—but that first step of returning to the flow of life, relinquishing the notion of control and our desire to “know” everything and instead opening our hearts and minds to the endless possibilities is perhaps the hardest step.
Row, row row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily, life is but a dream.
How much do you overthink what is the right thing to do or what you need to do in your life? In your work? For your family? Are you able to go with the flow when your plans derail? Do you feel anger, or shame, or defensiveness when your way, your choices differ from others? What about when you feel tired? Do you listen to the wisdom of your body and rest or choose to push through?
Why is there so much judgement here? Is it bad to push through, to override our body's wisdom?
I don’t know!
Our world, our universe is too vast to know. To figure out. To control.
But what I do know is that there is NOT ONE RIGHT WAY to do things or to be...no matter what the external experts and authorities tell us. And in my experience, when I align with and let my heart and body lead, the way FOR ME appears—one small fully embodied, sometimes painful, sometimes joyful, step at a time. Such is life!
Take a minute. Slow down. Breathe. Get back into your body.
And now, well the truth is, that I think I am finally getting it!! Feeling it. EMBODYING flow. Allowing life to flow through me and express itself in new ways. Embracing new ways of doing things even without a clear plan and letting go of trying to control how life evolves and grows. Just like my plant spirit friends are always showing me.
I am remembering how to create WITH life rather than trying to control it.
Coming into right relationship.
This concept of “right relationship” is central to many indigenous cultures, and is a way of talking about living in a sustainable, loving way with ALL beings, even those we may not perceive...yet.
This moon cycle Nasturtium (VITALITY) has been asking me to find and connect with my sacred flow and THEN ALIGN WITH IT!
In other words, come into right relationship with myself, and the life force that wants to express through me, since when I am in that state I am naturally, organically, living in a sustainable, loving way with all beings.
COME BACK TO LIFE! Your body. YOUR life.
And remember, life is only found in the present moment. You know this. Past memories and future dreams become part of our awareness, on the periphery, but our focus, our being, our flow, is only found in the present moment. And this feels so new and such a vastly different way to live, to be. And not at all the way I was led to believe would bring me the greatest joy and happiness!
Accepting responsibility for my choices, and only my choices, well that’s where this life is leading me and truly that’s all I have any control over anyway.
What obstacles are you creating that block or inhibit your creative life force? What beliefs are damping down your full creative expression, your flow? Like reorganizing a room, what needs unclogging?
“If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done.” —Thomas Jefferson
Dig deeper with Nasturtium (VITALITY) here.
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As we create a new story for our lives we are having to relearn all the ways we move and engage with the world. And it takes so much courage to “be alive in the shatter”, to keep getting up after being knocked down over and over as the world and life as we have known it seemingly falls apart around us.