“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”—Buckminster Fuller
I think about this a lot. It guides my life in so many ways. Everything that I am dreaming of and creating (and sharing) in my journey of soul healing is fueled by my heart’s deep desire to embody a way of being that is rooted in love, compassion and belonging rather than victimhood, fear and separation. For my own happiness and joy of course, but also because I deeply know that this is the best way I can personally contribute to the reality we are cocreating.
And so Yarrow (BOUNDARIES) has been the plant spirit companion for this past lunar cycle.
I’ve journeyed with Yarrow many times over the last few years, every year in fact, so I was quite surprised to discover that I have only ever published one deep dive with her… More Love: Creating Strong Boundaries from the Inside Out in December 2019.
I believe embodying more love is a neverending daily practice, our collective purpose perhaps! And that’s a very big topic… So maybe that’s why I haven’t written any more?
I do know that Yarrow’s presence in my life is constant. She is a warrior for love. Like me. And there are soooo many layers to Yarrow medicine—as many as her multitude of tiny flowers—that my experiences with her and my understandings spiral round and round with ever more subtle nuances and insights which is quite dizzying to express… but I will try!
The New Moon began with an invitation from Yarrow to discern the difference between what I am feeling and therefore contributing to the energetic “soup” in which we all live and what I am feeling that might be externally sourced. In other words, to discern what is mine and what isn’t.
“How can you let more love into your life?” Yarrow continued. “How can you open your heart even more? And, can you stand in the middle of your experience and still know it’s not you? Can you open yourself to the feeling of life without judging or hiding or fixing?”
I don’t know. Sometimes? But what about boundaries?
I have erected many boundaries in my life. I am aware of how oftentimes I am simply afraid to feel it all—afraid to surrender to the tidal waves of gratitude and grief that flow simultaneously when I open my heart fully to the experience of life itself.
It is so much easier (or maybe it is just familiar) to stay hidden in my garden, overthinking or engaging in external distractions and controlling perceived boundaries than it is to allow the feelings to swamp me.
“MORE LOVE!” says Yarrow, loud and clear.
So you say Yarrow… over and over.
Of course we can fight it all we want but one way or another life will be. Energy will flow. Everything is energy and energy knows no boundaries.
Boundaries are human constructs.
Like borders, between us and them.
Like time, of which there is never enough, an invisible boundary that we allow to control us.
I remember, not so long ago, when I was so concerned with the careful and controlled execution of my life that I forgot to actually live it.
You can certainly neglect, judge and fight life, but you can’t hide from the world if you are the world. There is no separation.
Nature doesn’t recognize boundaries.
In every aspect of my life I am becoming increasingly aware of being in and sitting with the unknown. Boundaryless. Any and every sense of certainty or patterns of knowing I thought I had is evaporating.
I am learning how to embody and simply be a sacred witness of change, within and without, which I know is the natural order of things but consciously living this truth, embodying my heart’s wisdom, is a whole other thing.
I feel that there is a massive realignment happening in the world and within me, that is asking me to trust, to flow with life, and to be in alignment with my heart and with love, in every breath. Can I surrender to life? Can I let go of control graciously?
The days are growing shorter now and I am witnessing the leaves slowly changing color and gracefully letting go, blanketing the Earth for her time of much needed rest and renewal.
Nature knows what she is doing and I find that comforting to witness even though the melancholy of the season is palpable. Nature is such a beautiful mirror for our remembering.
Through gratitude then I can feel my heart open easily, but more often it seems that grief is doing the work of breaking open my heart daily.
Can you relate?
This is Charley.
He may look like a dog to you but, like Yarrow, he is a master teacher and the special soul that has been my steadfast companion on my healing journey. He was the one who put me on my path again… literally… he took me to the woods, into Nature, to remember.
He is the one who, alongside the plants, loves me unconditionally, helping me to shed layers upon layers of boundaries created from fear that hide the truth of who I am. Charley is a love warrior for sure!
In the dark of the New Moon Charley’s heart decided it was time to begin the process of letting go. The beginning of the end.
I’m not sure how much time he has. How can any of us know? But I do know his time is approaching. And being the master teacher he is, there is not a hint of melancholy in his demeanor. All I can see and feel is acceptance—a graceful presence with what is and a love that knows no boundaries.
I wonder if humans have to experience grief in order to physically embody gratitude? It seems that way— like pain and joy also go hand in hand, which Rose embodies so clearly— humans seem to need the threat of endings in order for us to realize and be grateful for what we actually already have.
According to Rumi, “You Have to Keep Breaking Your Heart Until It Opens.”
You have to feel it all.
I take a deep, centering breath.
Yarrow’s umbrella of white flowers all face upwards, towards the light, and light in turn flows easily through all the spaces between the many tiny flowers.
There are many other color Yarrow flowers too, in addition to the traditional medicinal white flowers, which reminds me that light holds the full spectrum of frequencies—all the colors of the rainbow—reflecting the diversity of life itself and also the full spectrum of emotions that flow between us all. We live in an energetic soup, remember?
Light is energetic information that illuminates our colorful world.
Emotion is also energetic information that we all experience. We are energetic beings. Everything is energy.
Boundaries then are permeable, fluid, dynamic and flow in alignment with our own emotional energy bodies whilst also interacting with the emotional energy bodies of others.
Whether we are conscious of it or not, we all impact the world around us, wherever we go, we leave an energetic wake. Not many people can see the movement of energy through the field, but every single one of us can feel it—our bodies are exquisite sensory organisms.
Consider how you feel in a quiet cafe, or in a busy shopping mall? After an argument, watching an action movie or even when you quietly scroll on social media? In every situation we are definitely feeling and experiencing energy.
So how do we maintain strong boundaries then?
“More love!” says Yarrow. 😁
Yup. Right. Of self AND others.
I guess practically, as Yarrow suggested, we can begin by considering what is nourishing in our lives and what is not? Consider our habits, our thoughts, our words and our actions and how they make us feel.
We can consider everything that we energetically consume and everything that we energetically contribute. Awareness of this energy and how we feel and reflect it, is exactly what Yarrow wants to make conscious. These are the ingredients of the energetic “soup” if you like, and we get to create the recipe!
(Soup also makes me think about how the element of water is connected to our emotions and how soup has magical powers to soothe and heal on so many levels—especially when it is made with love!)
As we become more literate in the language of energy and emotions we can flow towards that which feels aligned, and away from that which is not, our open hearts and our holy “yes” navigating the whole process. There is nothing to fight. We simply don’t give any energy, any attention, to that which doesn’t resonate with our hearts. Like plants, we reach towards the light, tending and watering that which we wish to grow.
This is sacred witnessing. Feeling. Choosing. Flowing.
Yarrow used medicinally has the ability to staunch bleeding or to bring on the flow of blood, menses, in the body. She literally works with the emotional “waters” of the body. The Life blood.
In order to maintain strong boundaries then we have to constantly tap into what we are feeling and the stories we tell ourselves to explain our feelings. Shame and fear are energies that close our hearts. Gratitude and grief however are transformational energies that open our hearts to life and to all that we are.
And so with as much gentleness and grace as I can muster I am opening my heart and surrendering to life (and death) and being as much love as I can be. Giving more love to myself, more love to my family and my beloved pup, more love to my gardens and giving you more love too! It’s a great big love fest! And the good news is that there is an infinite supply!
We just have to remember this truth whenever we are reacting to everything, and anything, that is not love in our own lives and in the world. White Pine (WISDOM) has a lot to say about this and she is already here for the next lunar cycle…
And, I am human and I know I will forget to give more love over and over, but I also TRUST that the plant spirits will find a way to remind me! They always do!
Is Yarrow’s spiraling message resonating with you?
With so much gratitude to you for witnessing my journey.
May all beings know love.
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