Death of the Ego

March 07, 2020 1 Comment

Death of the Ego

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. 

Do we really think we can enter a new paradigm, a new planetary evolutionary cycle, without witnessing the old one crumble, fall and decompose?

I’ve spent a good deal of my life trying to figure out where I belong. 

Humans naturally have a deep desire to anything.

In order to belong, we label and define ourselves and others, judge our experiences and play out our stories in a valiant attempt to make sense of and control a life whose very essence is uncontrollable. Ineffable. And we take this work very seriously indeed! 

Our egos of course have been running the show for sometime. Having us believe that we are somehow in charge of life itself, that we know what we are doing and if things are not going according to plan, well, someone else somewhere is definitely to blame.

But we don’t have to look too hard now to see that all the systems and structures that we have managed and manipulated for so long are no longer working. One by one our political, environmental, societal and personal systems are collapsing. In our panic, in our fear, we are going crazy, running around sticking our fingers in the proverbial dyke that is springing leaks faster than we can control.

In my own family, the elders are struggling, facing their mortality, and I feel helpless watching the whole process knowing that something so profound and so beautiful, something that should be so natural to us—death and dying— is so alien instead.

We avoid it. We fear it. We have no idea how to gracefully move through it—personally or metaphorically for the collective.

With evolution, with change, we understand there is always the death of the old in order to make space for the new.

We cannot have life without death, and yet our relationship to death, to change of any sort, is based on our egos’ belief that we can cheat the inevitable. Avoid it. Control it. If we just do this...or that...

We have disconnected ourselves from the very rhythm of life. There is an in breath AND an out breath… right? No wonder we fear the collapse of a culture, of a lifestyle, of a colonized system whose time has come.

Purple Poppy (EVOLUTION) is my guide this moon cycle, helping me to recognize that even though my ego thinks it can be in control of the situation, predict outcomes, and keep me safe….it really is way out of it’s realm of expertise.

It is time for our ego minds to take a break. A long break! 

It is our heart’s that need to be in charge, not our ego minds. We need to stop thinking and start feeling. It is our bodies that carry the wisdom and the way, not our minds and we are "out of our minds" to think otherwise.

And so, it feels like the carpet has been pulled out from under us and we are collectively up in the air, uncertain of where, when or indeed if, we will land.

The ego wants certainty. It clings to old stories and deeply held beliefs that it has constructed to make sense of the world. But our world, collectively and individually is evolving. There is no room for old paradigms of separation and scarcity. Uncertainty then is an invitation into the gift of the present moment where only infinite possibility exists.

The ego is dying (or at least our current construct of its ruling presence is) to make room for love and the hearts knowing to remember its rightful place.

The ego will not go quietly though...

Goals and expectations continue to be set, but they are false hopes and the illusion of control continues to fuel our pain and suffering.

And so the question is, will we continue to struggle, push, fight, and resist the inevitable? 

When I close my eyes and connect to the energy of Purple Poppy, I feel like a skydiver. I’m way up high, arms and legs spread wide, allowing the air currents to lift me up and hold me steady. I feel like a hawk surveying the land below me, all the tiny people scurrying around, running this way and that trying to put out fires, trying to prevent the dyke from leaking.

Like a seed that I am, that we all are, filled with the promise of a life, a potential that is unique to each of us, I am floating and waiting to see where it is that I will land. 

It feels peaceful up here. I am being held, supported. No need to do anything. Just witness. Just observe. Just feel. 

This is the in between place.

The time when one cycle is ending and a new one is being seeded. What will grow we cannot know in our minds, but it is stored in our hearts and we can feel it. And like Mother Nature so tenderly models for us, day in and day out, season after season, year after year...there is an in breath and there is an out breath. Life and death in an endless cycle. 

Uncertainty then, is such a gift! A present of being here now. Feeling and witnessing all that we are without allowing the ego to label and judge the process, or rationalize and control the experience. 

And so as we watch the evolution of our world and of our individual journeys the message from Purple Poppy, while we are up in the air, is to take in the big picture. To not get lost in all the struggling and fixing and fighting and instead discern what is truly important and only do what is absolutely necessary—that is, taking the best care of your physical body as you can.

When a flower dies, the petals and leaves fall to the ground to decompose, to nourish the soil and feed the organisms that will support new growth in the next cycle. It’s a natural process, we just need to allow it to happen. 

The more we can detach from our need to control external events and situations and instead learn to surrender to the flow of life, the more quickly we can adapt and find peace within even while facing stressful situations. 

This is evolution. Expect nothing. See what arises. It’s a profoundly beautiful moment. 

Our job, as guardians, as co-creators in this evolutionary process is simply to witness and hold space for the new life to emerge. Let our controlling egos die and release their grip on our collective loving hearts.

This is true freedom. 

The rug may have been pulled out from under us but we are not falling, we are detaching from one cycle and in the process of allowing the next to evolve. 

And just for the record, the truth is we cannot ever belong to something outside of ourselves when who we are is simultaneously everything and nothing.

Dig deeper with Purple Poppy (EVOLUTION) here.

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February 22, 2021


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